Coming up on The Steam Room:  https://youtu.be/pX49hGUltTA

GaySA Radio, where you are family. This is The Steam Room, brought to you by the South African National department of Health’s Phila project. I am Max, and we are exploring sex between men. So first of all, what is daytime sex, and how is it different from other kinds of sex during other times of the day? Here’s what some people we spoke to said.

What do you understand by the term, daytime sex?

Person A: Daytime sex is pretty much daytime sex I think. There’s no other way to explain it, I don’t know how else I can explain daytime sex, I think it’s just sexy and messy. It makes a perfect description of daytime sex don’t you think?

Person B: My understanding of the term daytime sex or DTS is sex that obviously takes place during the daytime, but it goes beyond just during the daytime; its sex that happens in terms of neglecting your daily responsibilities just so that the sex can happen, so if someone was, for instance say to leave their children unattended or to bunk work or school, to miss an exam just so that they can go and have sex, that is my understanding of daytime sex. It’s not just the period in which the sex takes place but it’s also circumstances, which is usually a sacrifice of some sort that had to be made, or one of the two people had to, or more than two people, had to go the extra mile for the coitus to happen.

How is having daytime sex different from sex in the evenings? Is it more exciting Perhaps?

Person A: I don’t know, I think it depends on the weather, you know? If it’s hot then it must be miserable to have sex in such a state, weather, and if it’s cold like right now, it’s winter, then in the daytime I think it’s ok. You know, I think its better.

Person B: We always associate sex with the night time and with the darkness, and sex has always had this kind of connotation with naughtiness, you know, so to be doing that’s usually done at night during the day, it’s like you know, because we also don’t want to be seen having sex and daytime is bright, you know, and so a lot more things are visible, and because of that it is a lot more exciting. And also because people are usually asleep at night, so during the day people are busy. They are active, there’s a lot of activity, so the chances of getting caught are like, tripled, you know? There’s a higher, a greater risk.

Have you had sex during the day and where was it?

Person A: I have. I’ve had sex during the day in Pretoria, I can’t say where exactly, because somebody might just go to the place, Ja I have, and it was okay, it wasn’t more than that. It was just a bit too hot; you know when you’re stifling and sticky and all that stuff, it was quite uncomfortable but we finished off in the shower so it made it a bit more pleasurable that day.

Person B: Lots of times, of course I’ve had sex during the day, I’ve had it in my parent’s bedroom, with the helper around! I’ve had it in a park, I think the most exciting and dangerous and risky daytime sex I ever had was the cinema. We were going to watch the Karate Kid, I don’t even know how it ends. The cinema wasn’t entirely empty, so there was that whole danger of people being like five rows in front of you, and you’re having to force yourself to keep quiet, and fighting that because of restraint…

VOX: Is there something you like or dislike about this sex act?

Person A: Like I said, the fact that it’s hot and steamy, it can get a bit uncomfortable.

Person B: What I dislike is that because I’m a big girl, and I have stretch marks, daytime sex my partner gets a better view of me, you know, I like being mysterious, I like the mystique, I like you just seeing my shape, I love my shape. in the dark you just see my silhouette but during the day you don’t just see a silhouette against the window, you see everything, you see every stretch mark, every ripple, every scar, every stitch. So ja, I’d say that’s what I don’t like about it, the fact that it’s too real and everything that you try to hide is exposed.

Where do you meet the men you hook up with during the day?

Person A: Oh that’s interesting, I don’t know. Um okay, they are at hook-up sites, if you feel like daytime sex you can just go to a hook-up site and do your thing.

Person B: Usually I hook up with men who I have already hooked up with at night, it’s not new encounters. The only new thing about it would be the environment and obviously the time of day, but I usually meet my people at social settings, so I would either be out having lunch with a friend or out partying, when I’m doing that sort of thing, that’s usually where I meet people. I’ll also meet people on various social mediums such as Facebook and Twitter, you know, people will DM you, sneak into your DM’s and you take it from there and then, depending on when we arranged… that’s another thing also; sometimes it’s a matter of convenience because, perhaps maybe you both have partners that you go home to at night, so daytime is the only time you have available, you know? You’re stealing each other, as someone put it, so it depends, ja, but I usually meet my people in various ways; in public, on social settings and also social media.

How safe is daytime sex? Do you use protection?

Person A: All the time! Protection is key, no glove, no love you know? It’s always been said that protection is… So make sure that you use it. Whether it’s night time, daytime, use it all the time.

Person B: Well I mean the period in which you have sex has no bearing on the safety of the sex you’re having. If you want to have safe sex you will have safe sex, and whether you’re having it in the morning, daytime, afternoon, evening or night; It’s all based on your preferences and obviously your willingness to take risks. Personally I’m not, I love taking risks in terms of places and times and that sort of thing, but I don’t take risks in terms of my health. I always practice safe sex and I also prefer to engage with people who are on PREP. It’s very comforting to know that he’s protected, and I’m protected, and then we also still use condoms, but in the event that we don’t you still have that sort of backup plan, so safe sex all the way, like I said, I take risks, many kinds of risks, but never in terms of my health, no that’s not worth it.

So there you have it. That’s some of the thoughts of people we spoke to. I wonder what the term daytime sex means to you. Remember, you can always send me a message on social media, just find @gaysaradio on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn or Instagram and we can chat there a little bit more. This is The Steam Room here on GaySA Radio, brought to you by the South African National department of Health’s Phila project.

Listen to this interesting discussion here: https://youtu.be/H-Hg_5bSbSc

GaySA Radio, where you are family. You’re listening to The Steam Room, brought to you by the South African National department of Health’s Phila project. I am Max and tonight we are talking about daytime sex. I suppose we all have an opinion about what exactly it is we’re talking about, so I thought maybe it’s a good idea to have a chat with somebody who knows a lot more about this very subject.

Rey: GaySA Radio, where you are family. I’m Rey and this is The Steam Room, brought to you by the South African National department of Health’s Phila project. Today we chat with Bruce Little about daytime sex. So Bruce, what do you understand about daytime sex or daytime hook-ups?

Bruce Little: From what I understand, men who choose to hook up during their lunch break or maybe during their tea break in the morning or if they are in a job that sort of allows them flexi-time. They’ll find that if they’re quiet during a certain time of the day, they’ll pop out, maybe find somebody on one of the social networking apps, and then they’ll meet somebody either in a public toilet or in a room that’s conducive, and then they’ll engage in sex.

Rey: How does daytime sex differ from traditional sex?

Bruce Little: In terms of the risk factor, sex that you have, whether you have it during the day or at night or midnight, it doesn’t really matter. Sex is risky any time you have it, especially if you’re not using a condom and water-based lube and it also depends on what kind of sex you’re having. So if you’re just enjoying oral sex in a space during the day with someone then your chances of sexually transmitted infections are probably less. You’re still at risk of something like pharyngeal gonorrhoea, which is basically gonorrhoea of the throat. If you are giving somebody else a blowjob, and that person ha gonorrhoea, which you might not be able to see, because the symptoms are… you don’t often see the symptoms, so if you give someone a blowjob and they have gonorrhoea then you might get gonorrhoea of the throat and it presents similar to a throat infection, but it’s very hard to treat with just normal antibiotics, so you need to get quite strong antibiotics if you get Pharyngeal gonorrhoea.

Rey: and what are some of the ways that men who have daytime sex find each other?

Bruce Little: There’s many, many different ways. During the eighties and nineties, and you know, even the early two thousands, before things like Grindr and all these different dating apps, it was a very… the culture was very different, you’d have to cruise. So what a lot of guys did was there were certain areas that were chosen, and everyone was in agreement that those would be cruising areas. So there was a place in Cape Town known as Graaf’s Pool, which was an unofficial nude tanning area in Seapoint in Cape Town that was known as a cruising spot, and I know along the beach front in Durban are also well known cruising spots and here in Johannesburg there’s been Zoo Lake parking lot for many years. And then there’s gyms. A lot of men solicit sex with one another in change rooms, public toilets, it’s known as cottaging, when you engage in a sexual act, or try and have sex with another man in a public toilet, that’s known as cottaging. So there’s many different forms of daytime sex.

Rey: Lastly Bruce, what type of men have daytime sex?

Bruce Little: It could be anyone. It’s very difficult to profile who enjoys daytime sex, it also depends on what kind of daytime sex that person is having. So if you’re somebody that finds somebody to have sex with during your lunch break because you work in Sandton and you see via an app that this person also works in Sandton and you have the time, and you recognise that person so you feel safe, then even if you’re somebody who is quite conservative and risk-averse, you may still engage in meeting with that person and having sex with them. Other people are thrill-based. They get turned on by the thrill of meeting somebody they don’t know and the risk, because there are risks involved. You may find yourself in a very difficult situation if somebody decides to assault, or mug, or attack you, or rob you, there have been cases that have been reported where men bait other men to meet them at certain locations and then mug, or attack or rob them, pretending that they’re willing to meet them for sex but actually they’re just looking to take their valuables. So there’s always risks involved and like any encounter with another person where you hope to engage in an intimate way, there’s always risks involved.

Rey: GaySA Radio where you are family. This is The Steam Room brought to you by the South African National department of Health’s Phila project. Thank you so much Bruce.

Listen to our discussion with Bruce Little here: https://youtu.be/xt_z3nvJtwo

The Steam Room presents “QUICKIE”

 

SFX: BUSTLING SOUND OF A DAYTIME OFFICE

CHRIS: Oh my god, it’s 1pm and I’m already bored as fuck. And my dick keeps rubbing against these jeans. (frustrated) Why did I go commando today? (beat) Okay, Chris, time to stop thinking about it and do something about it. Only one way to get rid of a boner. Now let me see … ManHunt.

SFX: TYPING ON A KEYBOARD

ALICE: (APPROACHING) Hey there, Chris.

CHRIS: Oh. Hey, Alice.

ALICE: How’s the day going?

CHRIS: Pretty good.

ALICE: What’re you busy with?

CHRIS: Nothing, just the usual.

ALICE: What’s that look on your face?

CHRIS: Oh, it’s nothing. Just a little bored, I guess.

ALICE: I told you when you started working here, this place will do that to you. You’ve got to find a way to keep yourself entertained. See, me I’ve got the mobile game bug. When stuff gets too mind-numbing I play a little. I’m on Candy Crush right now. Up to level 9 already! Isn’t that amazing?

CHRIS: Oh God, make her go awaayyyy… I have a load to shoot… (beat) So amazing.

ALICE: I know! (beat) What time are you breaking for lunch?

CHRIS: Around 1:45.

ALICE: I’m at 2. You want to run down to Vida and get something together?

CHRIS: Oh God, No. (beat) Aww, I’m sorry. I would but I already have plans.

ALICE: Oh! Ok, no worries. I’ll ask Thembi.

CHRIS: Sounds like a vibe.

ALICE: Enjoy your plans!

CHRIS: (lasciviously) Oh, I will. (beat) I will. You too.

SFX: THE SOUND OF A KEYBOARD ONCE MORE.

CHRIS; Okay… let’s check who’s dropped me a line. (beat) Ooh… Hello Quikie69…

 

CROSSFADE TO:

SFX: CAR ARRIVES AND CAR DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS.

CHRIS: Hey. You Quickie69?

TREVOR: Ja. I’m Trevor.

CHRIS: Chris.

TREVOR: Cool. Where do you wanna do this?

CHRIS: There’s a place behind those trees over there.

TREVOR: You come here often?

CHRIS: Ja. Few days a week. You?

TREVOR: Never. Usually host at my place.

CHRIS: Oh. I can’t. I have a boyfriend at home.

TREVOR: I see.

CHRIS: Does that bother you?

TREVOR: Couldn’t give a shit, mate.

CHRIS: Good. Bareback?

TREVOR: Ja. If you’re cool with that.

CHRIS: Ja.

TREVOR: Cool. You on PrEP?

CHRIS: Ja. (beat) Well, till a few days ago, Note to self: Get more from the pharmacy.

TREVOR: Cool.

CHRIS: You top?

TREVOR: Vers top. But, top today ja.

CHRIS: Perfect. (beat) OK, let’s go.

 

SFX: CAR DOORS BOTH OPEN AND SHUT

FOOTSTEPS AS THEY WALK TOGETHER. SOUNDS OF NATURE.

 

CHRIS: There’s a path down here.

TREVOR: Lead the way.

CROSSFADE TO:

CHRIS: Okay, Right here is good. Don’t worry about being gentle. Give me all you got.

SFX: CHRIS PULLS HIS ZIP DOWN

TREVOR: Turn around.

CHRIS: Aye Aye.

TREVOR: Niiiiice…

 

CROSSFADE TO:

SFX: SEX SOUNDS AS THEY GO AT IT IN THE BUSHES

TREVOR: You like that?

CHRIS: Ja, baby. Fuck me harder!

TREVOR: Oh really… Okay.

(HEIGHTENED SEX SOUNDS AND CONTINUOUS HEAVY BREATHING)

TREVOR: You like that?

CHRIS: Yeah!!

TREVOR: Fuck, I’m close.

CHRIS: Cum!! (beat)  Yes, cum!

TREVOR: (strained) Where do you want me to cum?

CHRIS: Inside me! Gimme that creampie!

TREVOR: Ok. I’m cumming… I’m cumming…!!

 

(SEX SOUNDS STOP. THEY BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY FOR A FEW SECONDS.)

 

CHRIS: Wow. That was fucking amazing.

TREVOR: Ja. Fuck man. You sure know how to take a dick.

CHRIS: I’ve had a lot of practice.

TREVOR: (alarmed) Oh shit, dude.

CHRIS: Mhm?

TREVOR: Fucking hell…

CHRIS: What’s wrong?

 

(beat)

 

CHRIS: Dude, what is it?

TREVOR: Dude, you’re bleeding. (beat) A lot.

 

DRAMATIC MUSIC

CROSSFADE TO:

 

SFX: A RUNNING SHOWER.

CHRIS: Of course this would happen to you, you dumb shit! This is what happens when you cheat. You know he loves you so why the fuck would do you go around sleeping with other guys. I’ll tell you why, Chris. Cuz you’re a fucking idiot. You had it coming. Fuck, you don’t even know his surname and you let him put his dick inside you without a fucking condom. What the fuck have you gotten yourself into!

CHRIS: Ouch!

SFX: A KNOCK AT THE DOOR.

BOYFRIEND: (AWAY) Chris! Are you okay in there? You’ve been in the shower for ages!

CHRIS: Yes! I’m fine! (beat) God, and he’s been such a good boyfriend as well. (beat) Don’t worry! I’m just… washing my hair.

BOYFRIEND: (AWAY) Okay. Do you want to go out for dinner? Craig and Luke asked if we’d like to join them at Weezer’s.

CHRIS: God, I don’t even know if I can sit for that long. My asshole is fucking killing me. (beat) Do you want to go?

BOYFRIEND: Can I come in? (DOOR OPENS) I’m not sure if I’m in the mood. But, I guess we could. We haven’t been out in a while. I don’t know. What do you think?

CHRIS: There’s no way I could come off normal right now. It’s throbbing so badly. (beat) I mean, I’m not sure. I’m actually really tired after today.

BOYFRIEND: Ok, I feel you. We can stay in, watch movies and cuddle.

CHRIS: Fuck, I know what that means. He’s going to want to fuck later. There’s just no way… (beat) Actually, maybe you’re right. I think we should go. It has been a while since we went out.

BOYFRIEND: Oh. Okay. I’ll let them know we’re in then.

CHRIS: Cool.

BOYFRIEND: Finish up in here. I also have to shower.

CHRIS: Sure thing, babe. Almost done. (beat) Fuck my life. How the fuck did I let this happen.

 

DRAMATIC MUSIC

CROSSFADE TO:

 

SFX: THE SOUND OF A DRIVING CAR

CHRIS: Okay, just breathe. It actually doesn’t hurt too badly. Thank fuck the panados are kicking in. I’m just so happy it’s not bleeding anymore, at least there’s that.

BOYFRIEND: What’s on your mind?

CHRIS: Mhmm?

BOYFRIEND: You’re really quiet, babe.

CHRIS: Nah, I’m okay. Just a little tired. (beat) The turn-off is coming up, hey.

BOYFRIEND: Oh, you’re right. Geez. Thanks, hun.

 

(beat)

 

BOYFRIEND: You’re sure you’re okay?

CHRIS: Ja, nothing to worry about.

BOYFRIEND: Okay, here we are.

 

SFX: CAR COMES TO A STOP.

 

BOYFRIEND: We don’t have to stay too long. You deny it, but I can tell something’s up. I know you.

CHRIS: Yes, you do know me so well, that’s the problem.

 

CAR DOORS OPENING AND CLOSING

SHORT DRAMATIC BRIDGE

CROSSFADE TO:

 

(A GROUP OF MEN LAUGHING)

 

LUKE: That’s why he’s been avoiding us! It’s like, I’m sorry but your wig looked busted AF, and those little kitten heels gave me gonorrhea so fast as looking at them. I mean, I don’t mean to be mean…

CRAIG: Haha, you do.

LUKE: Okay, maybe I do, but damn. Category Is: Butch Queen – first time at a baalll.

(MORE LAUGHING)

CRAIG: Speaking of STD’s, though. Did you two hear what happened to Nicholas?

LUKE: Craig, baby. You probably shouldn’t.

CRAIG: No, I mean. Nick told us.

LUKE: Ja, but…

CRAIG: It’s fine. Everyone knows already.

LUKE: Okay, but maybe just keep your voice down.

CRAIG: Okay, well. (beat) Guys, Nick tested positive.

CHRIS: Oh my god, what? Positive? Does that mean I’m positive too? Oh shit, I knew I shouldn’t have done it, shit, all that bleeding…

BOYFRIEND: What the fuck…

CRAIG: Ja. Says he got it from a Grindr hook-up.

BOYFRIEND: That’s so fucked up. (beat) Isn’t he still dating Jean, though? I didn’t even know they were open.

CRAIG: That’s the kicker – they weren’t. It’s so fucked up.

BOYFRIEND: Fucking hell. Jean must be freaking out.

LUKE: He was for a bit, but he got tested and he’s clean. But, they broke up a few days back.

BOYFRIEND: Wow. They’ve been together for ages. They started dating after me and Chris. What’s that, like, four years?

CHRIS: Four year. How longs have we been together? Has it been four years? What if I already infected him? Oh shit, this is a disaster!

CRAIG: That’s so long. I mean, if you wanna spice things up then spice things up. But, talk to your partner first, you know. I mean, you can do whatever you want – just keep your partner in the loop. I mean, I really do like Nick but it’s selfish as fuck.

CHRIS: It is. Just like I’m a selfish fuck. Selfish selfish selfish!

BOYFRIEND: Completely. I can’t with that. It’s horrible. I mean, can you imagine how close he came to fucking up his boyfriend’s life just cuz he couldn’t keep it in his pants.

LUKE: Ja. I mean, exactly. It’s really not about the fact that he was sleeping with other guys. It’s about the fact that he let someone believe they were monogamous when they weren’t. It’s just not okay.

 

(beat)

CRAIG: Chris, you’re really quiet.

CHRIS: Oh, ja. Sorry. Guess I’m just processing it all. That’s such a blow. It really just is… It’s the worst thing you could do to somebody else. (beat)  And here I am… not on PrEP and bleeding from bareback. How the fuck did I let this happen. Fuck, I’m not feeling so good. I think I’m gonna throw up. Oh my god oh my god! I’m positive!

 

DRAMATIC MUSIC

CROSSFADE TO:

 

SFX: A PHONE RINGS

RECEPTIONIST: Good Afternoon. Dr Cotswalds GP and Pharmacy.

SFX: A DOOR OPENS.

RECEPTIONIST: One moment. (beat) Honey, can you wait? Have a seat over there. Your results will be here just now..

CHRIS: Thank you. (beat) Wow. It’s like… I can’t even feel anything right now. My feelings are gone. I think this is what people mean when they use the word numb. Cuz that’s it. I’m numb (beat) I can’t believe what I’ve gotten myself into with this one. I had it all made. I have a good job. I have a good boyfriend. I have everything I could possibly need. But, it wasn’t enough, was it Chris? You just couldn’t keep it in your pants. And now…  Now you’re about to join the ranks of the fuck-ups. Cuz, if he was positive there’s just no way you didn’t get it. You fucked yourself over. But, worse, you’ve fucked him over. You’ve ruined it. Just like you they said you would. You’ve ruined it. It’s all…

RECEPTIONIST: Christopher. (beat) The Doctor will see you now.

 

SFX: MUSIC

That was “QUICKIE – written by Arlin Bantam.

 

This play was produced as part of the Steam Room, which is brought to you by the National Department of Health’s Phila Project. GaySA Radio – where you are family.

To hear this raunchy drama for yourself, check out this link: https://youtu.be/-yQos9SSjyU

GaySA Radio, where you are family. I am Max and this is The Steam Room. Today we are talking about daytime sex and I was curious to find out what a guy’s experience is when he hooks up during the day. What kind of sex do you have when it’s a quickie?

Person A: When it’s quickly I need to go for oral. It’s the easiest, the least painful, but it’s pleasurable, it’s a quickie, you know?

Person B: It sounds sexier in Tshwane, my friend mentioned it. My friend was the one who gave it a name in Tshwane; He’ll say (Tshwane) which means “they shagged me through a window”, and what that basically means is it’s that kind of sex where it’s very quick and you don’t take off your clothes, so literally you’ll drop your pants to your ankles, your underpants to your knees, and you’ll bend over, and your partner will do the same. Like, everything is still on; shoes, belts, watch, you may lose one item like you may remove a jacket and just lift the shirt. But my favourite kind of quickie sex is the kind where we all have our clothes on and we’ve just exposed the parts that need to make contact and it’s a party.

Max: When it’s daytime sex are you more often top or bottom? Or is it just ranking?

Person A: Daytime sex, like I said, I’m an auntay. Auntays don’t do any of those things other than just bottom; they don’t go for rankings and stuff like that.

Person B: Okay, so I am a power bottom, so it doesn’t matter. It’s like as somebody else said, I am a super-deluxe power bottom, I didn’t even know there were levels to the bottom list so I bottom all the way, every day, any time of the day. But also, like I said, if you don’t have a lot of time, like literally if you’ve got three minutes in a lift, then oral sex is the way to go, in that case I also prefer to be the doer, the giver rather than the receiver, but like I said, sex is fluid and sometimes you just go with the flow, you mustn’t go into it with too many restrictions and boundaries, you must keep an open mind. But obviously also know what you like, and not just what you like but also what you’re really good at, because that counts. But ja, for me usually, or the daytime sex that I have had, has always been me in the bottom position and it’ll depend on how much time we have, that will determine what acts we perform, but ja.

Max: Are you in a relationship and what kind of relationship is it?

Person A: I don’t know if I can call it a relationship, it’s just something new and we’re trying to work things out you know? So the person is in a relationship with somebody else but I also happen to be there. I’m not the side, no, but I am trying to see where it leads.

Person B: I am in a relationship right now, I know based on everything I’ve just said that it doesn’t sound like I am, but I am in a relationship, a serious, committed relationship and we’re monogamous so we’re not seeing other, well the plan is to not see other people and so far we’ve done a good job of sticking to that plan. Only time will tell what happens, but for now, no daytime sex for me. My partner is also quite, unfortunately it’s a long distance relationship. I see him frequently but not as frequently as I’d like. So when I do see him we’ll have daytime sex, we’ll have night-time sex, we’ll just try to make the most of the time we have, we have so little time together because then he has to go back to where he lives, which is Venda, I have to remain here in Pretoria, so ja.

Max: Does your daytime sex life stay active when you’re in a relationship?

Person A: It depends, it depends on how busy or how our schedules look like, if we’re quite busy then I don’t think our daytime sex will be quite existent, but if we do have time on our hands then sure, why not? It also depends on the weather.

Person B: When I am in a relationship do I cheat to have daytime sex? I think when I was younger and a lot more irresponsible, yes, I did do that but now I’m much older and I know what I want and I also date older people who know what they want, and the people I get into relationships with have played the game, you know, they’ve got the sweater, we’re fine. And so right now, no, I don’t cheat to have daytime sex, I would rather have daytime sex with my partner, but ja, no, not really. Yes a long time ago, when I was a lot younger I used to engage in risky sexual behaviour and I would take chances and especially if the opportunity availed itself I would definitely do that.

Max: Have you ever cheated on your partner to have daytime sex?

Person A: I’ve never cheated, like literally I’ve never cheated, isn’t that amazing? But I’ve never cheated, no. I’m not a cheating type of person.

Person B: I have cheated on previous partners to have daytime sex, I’ve also been cheated on by previous partners, and they cheated on me in the form of daytime sex.

Max: Tell us your most interesting daytime hook-up story.

Person A: Ooh, my most interesting daytime sex story, okay. I was… I met this guy on a hook-up site, right? And that guy just knew which buttons to press and how to press them and how to control the give, like I said, I’m not the biggest fan of daytime sex but that one individual did me the most.

Person B: So it happened during my varsity years, I still remember it very well. He was a TST student, I was still at TUKS and we both lived… our homes were with our parents, and we both couldn’t afford to check in to a hotel, and movies were very cheap at the time, so we decided to meet in town and we pretended to watch a movie. We chose a not very popular movie and it was close to the end, I think it was in its last week, so not many people were there. And we both bunked class, I remember I had to, I had literally just submitted an assignment and got onto a taxi, this was before the days of Uber, and he didn’t even bother going on campus, he just went straight from his home to town and we met up. And it was literally our first time meeting to begin with. We had spoken on, I think it was called Mxit and we had spoken on a mig 33, gosh. We had spoken on mig, and he had seen my picture and I had seen his picture but we hadn’t physically seen each other. And ja, we decided to hook up, it was quite interesting, he was a lovely man. Very commanding, very forceful, which I liked. He was younger than me also, I think he was a first year. But he took charge, which I responded very well to. It’s like, no, yes we didn’t do it in the cinema because the movie we were watching turned out to have more people than we anticipated, so he was just like, I’ll follow you to the bathroom, we mustn’t leave all at once. So he went to the bathroom, and he told me I’m going to be at the very last stall and I followed him and ja, we got there and we did the business at the bathroom of a Ster Kinekor, Pretoria CBD. And afterwards, we wiped ourselves off, we kissed still, he was very passionate, and we walked back in the cinema, again not all at once, he walked out, or I walked out first, he stayed back and then he came back to the cinema, and we carried on watching the movie holding hands and we’d steal a kiss here and there. It was good times.

Max: It’s amazing to hear there are many others who have similar experiences to me and you, don’t you think? Or maybe this is all news to you. It does not really matter; all information is handy no matter how or when it comes to you, and here on The Steam Room, with me, Max, you will get the juiciest tips and info that will help you navigate your sexual adventures. Of course, only here on GaySA Radio, where you are family.

 

Click hear to listen to The Steam Room: https://youtu.be/wkx-Wz5a0S8

Welcome back to the Steam Room, here on GaySA Radio Brought to you by the South African National Department of Health’s Phila Project. I am Max and in the studio tonight I’m excited to welcome two anonymous men who will be chatting about their experiences with condoms. Their voices have been obscured to protect their identities.

Person A: You know, I’ve just been thinking, have you had the situation where you’re about to do the nasty and you realise you don’t have lube or you don’t have enough lube, what do you do? Because I’ve heard stories…

Person B: Oh I’m about to tell you a story!

Person A: Stories about how some people improvise.

Person B: Ja we do, we did. One of the disclaimers I would start off with at the beginning is that a lot of these things started off at a very early age, when we were getting into this whole, what do use, what do you need, it was just a matter of wham, bam thank you ma’am, so I went to a boarding school and I didn’t know what lube was, I think myself and my partner then didn’t know what lube was, we had to do research and stuff.

Person A: OK

Person B: So Before that, to no one’s surprise, we used what we could find in our closest proximity, normally being Vaseline, but if that was not around or if we were in his room we’d use his lotion, flavoured lotion, until I heard that was really unsafe and really dangerous, so ja. But then what happens when I don’t have lube is that I use oil, not cooking oil but tissue oil.

Person A: Ok, ok

Person B: So what we did, well that would I think I would say would be my alternative. Please tell me you’ve got something worse.

Person A: No, no, I think its… have I had a situation where I don’t have lube and I needed to do it? To be honest yes I have. Have I previously tried it with someone without lube, oh yes I have. Will I do it again, absolutely not! Because we all know…

Person B: it’s just that it does not work.

Person A: I wouldn’t wish that experience on my worst enemy, the tears and everything to deal with that come after that, they’re just unbearable. I think ja, as a lotion, especially because you’re young then you know, and you’re not as clued up on things as you are now. Obviously there’s the lotion, the petroleum jelly, Vaseline, but I’ve also heard stories of people actually using like, mayonnaise and anything that has an oily component to it…

Person B: Well that was what I had to claim with the oil, is I heard people used cooking oil.

Person A: Exactly, and those are the stories that I have heard, and ja it’s just so important that we just need to go and educate the masses there, they need know, people need to know.

Person B: No, because also I think it was very recently when I had…

Person A: Spit as well! Spit as well. No I’m dead serious.

Person B: Don’t you run out of saliva? No, that for me is very gross in a sense, and I’m not judging anybody.

Person A: absolutely not.

Person B: But I’m just saying, especially like the younger me, I’ve hooked up with guys from certain areas, where they are not really clued up on what happens, and you say sorry I don’t have lube or whatever the case might be, and then they would actually want to use their saliva as a base before penetration, and like, it’s not going to work and the thought of that it’s saliva… As much as rimming and all is nice, rimming is nice, but then you don’t have to go thrusting with it, you know what I’m saying? But as I was saying earlier, I recently had a situation where I was getting busy and it was really very recent, and it was my first time trying this in a shower thing…

Person A: Oh I haven’t.

Person B: And it was without condom, it was without lube. What it was with was just water running down, and I don’t know…

Person A: How neutral can it be, it is water after all?

Person B: And apparently that is supposed to be a slippery situation that’s really good but for me instead it really actually hurt me, it was burning and I don’t know why, I don’t know what had been the causes of it, but it’s not something I would advise anyone to do or go back for another… I think it would be more slippery if there was some form of soap.

Person A: So there was no soap? It was just like, water?

Person B: Just water from the tap, just from up there. From the shower head, and besides, you wouldn’t want soap all down there, and actually have some friction on top of the… oh no. So ja, from then I just stay away from baths and showers and stuff.

Person A: Keep it natural

Person B: Do what I know. I think we’ve got like, max condoms here, and they’re flavoured, rthere’s strawberry and there’s, I think you’ve got raspberry, oh ja, the grape. So what is your favourite condoms, just like when you go to the store?

Person A: That is actually a really good question, I’m trying to remember, I don’t really have a specific brand, I would say, maybe because I’m wired a bit differently but for me it just needs to be a condom, and I know that especially with the community there is actually a class component of sorts

Person B: Absolutely.

Person A: To say that you know what, you are not gonna Choice me, if it’s not Dr Long or Rough Riders then that might be, or king-size, whatever that is.

Person B: Ja I don’t know.

Person A: But I don’t know, for me it’s always been, let’s just have a condom irrespective of, and I haven’t actually went on an excursion of trying to… obviously I think the quality is different, cus there’s like lighter stuff…

Person B: But that’s the texture and stuff right?

Person A: So that has, when it comes to like, I don’t think it’s based on… isn’t the quality still the same in terms of the strength of it?

Person B: I wouldn’t, I don’t know, I don’t see it that way.

Person A: Cus there’s like, the studded ones, I’m not sure what they’re called, and they just like, grip and that’s apparently painful and the light as feathers one, the skin on skin, ja,

Person B: We love that (Laugh)

Person A: We do.

Person B: But what I don’t get are the flavoured ones, so…

Person A:  I guess we all know that it comes with its own odour that some people can handle, some people… like for me, myself, I don’t like the condom smell, one. I don’t know why but I just don’t. I would rather have a flavoured condom, it’s still a condom, it just psyches you up you know, playing with the strawberry flavoured one, and I guess it’s just better on your nose if you come and just take a whiff and go oh, strawberry.

Person B: But like you were saying, the condoms have brands on their own, have the class component so I remember when I was growing up I went through this phase of no, I really need to just use Purex, because Durex is it, it’s lube, and it’s just like, and I’m glad I went through those experiences. There are even people who are like, I don’t use Choice I will not have sex with a Choice condom, or a Max or whatever it is, I’m not cheap. But I don’t know the rationale behind, so you’re just gonna miss out on something so good…

Person A: On protection even!

Person B: Because some people, if they’re going to use that they might as well go raw, but then..

Person A: Exactly, so then are you gonna go raw? Or are you going protected? I would rather do the protection, whatever it is, as long as you’re protected.

Person B: Exactly, exactly. So condoms are really important, and really interesting.

Person A: Have you used female condoms before? Because I’ll tell you why I asked, I know it’s really strange, but one of my friends, a transgendered woman or whatever the case might be, or even just gay guys in general, they will tell you that I am more comfortable to be using a female condom and let the guy get in me without a condom

Person B: Does it work the same?

Person A: I don’t know, just thinking about the size of the female condom, and you’ve got the protruding part, my question would be where does that go, is it right there on the outside or does it go in?

Person B: And also, when you’re done, it kind of goes out, does the penis come out with it or do you also have to, you know what I’m saying?

Person A: You’re being spicy right now!

Person B: And because male condoms were designed so that at the end you can ejaculate into something, do female condoms also have those pockets?

Person A: No they do, in terms of how it looks, so it would be bigger, it has a sort of outer circle thing on the outside, but it still goes in and is closed at the bottom, so it’s like a socket, right? So you are still able to cum into something, it will still hold, but as to how that would actually be applied on the male genitalia, it’s just…

Person B: You know, it’s just, I’ve never firstly, to answer your question I’ve never used a female condom but then like yourself I have lesbian friends who told me and indicated me a bit about them, but then I just don’t think it’s something that I would do? I don’t know, I’ve never met another gay man who has done it, I can’t whether it’s safe or unsafe, whether you should or not, it’s you know, in terms of enjoyability and safety and  all of that.

Thank you so much. If you want to get more information about condoms go to the Steam Room page on gaysaradio.co.za. I am Max, this is The Steam Room on GaySA Radio, where you are family.

Listen to this hot and heavy discussion here: https://youtu.be/dGk8hCHIk_k

Introducing Max and Lubey, only on The Steam Room: https://youtu.be/rmbqJGEQmLo

So it’s time to open up the conversation tonight and get some more voices on the matter as we keep exploring the world of day-time sex, this topic of ours for the evening. Spilling the tea tonight we have a group of nameless guys with us here. So, just between us Casanovas…

Person A: So I’m going to start with asking you both, does anyone here regularly have day-time sex?

Person B: All the time. Whenever I get an opportunity I’ll dash out and…

Person C: Ok, well I don’t think regularly but occasionally, yes why not? If the opportunity occurs then…

Person B: I like to see what I’m doing, so I prefer doing it in the light.

Person A: That’s why you put on the lights in the evening.

Person B: Ja but if then it’s after-nine, I want to do it before nine; breakfast, lunch…

Person C: Ja, me too. In the mornings quickly, maybe sneak out a little bit, go and find yourself a piece of meat, have some day-time, well you’ve got to tell me, you arranged this topic.

Person C: Ummm Shoh, the first time, I was in a steadfast relationship for a long time…

Person B: You cheating slut!

Laughter

Person C: No, no. I’ve never cheated.

Person A: That’s a good question, did you do it while cheating?

Person B: No, no no. I don’t believe in cheating, but Ja, um, when I was single the first time someone approached me on Grindr and said well, where can we meet up? And I said well, coffee sounds like a nice plan you know? Innocent…

Person D: I’ve got to stop you there, there’s just this thing about coffee, do you want to have coffee, I always tell people no I want to fuck.

Laughter

Person B: Well at that time I though coffee was the ideal way to eventually lead up to something and then we didn’t even have coffee, we passed the entire…

Person D: That’s the thing, it’s a waste of time. It’s useless planning it’s a waste of time. Just cut straight to…

Person C: just ask for coffee, anytime, ask me do you wanna fuck or not, don’t…

Person B: Exactly.

Person A: What do you think about people that don’t do that, people that would rather just take you, have coffee and then the next thing?

Person B: In the end I just shoot. I mean I know they exist

Person C: Yeah of course they exist.

Person D: I’ve been on the receiving end, well I’ve been on the other end of that, where people have cheated in a relationship with me, and I had a classic…

Person C: Mmm there’s always a story.

Person D: That’s right, look, I was single on the side (Laugh) I was single, and fate wanted me to do it, it was also day-time sex that happened on one of the whole things, but there were two guys at the same time, so one had to happen in the day-time and the other happened at night-time, and then one night I was in a club chatting to somebody, one of these men at the bar, and then the other one walked in, the same guy, so ja, I was the common denominator here, having a thing with two different people, one in the day and one in the night. It ended up the two I was having a thing with in the relationship and both were cheating on each other with me, so it ended up quite nasty, ja. I walked out unscathed.

Person C: You can be very lucky because if it was my boyfriend and I caught you, your dick would be chopped off.

Person D: But day-time sex is so much more exciting than night-time sex.

Person B: No, no no no no. I think morning sex is the best, or just before work…

Person D: Ag man that’s boring, that’s in your own bed.

Person B: Who said that?

Laughter

Person B: You can do it in the shower, in the kitchen, on the way out the door, it’s not just in the bed darling, I’m boring but not that boring.

Person D: I agree with morning sex, it just comes from my student days, I’m going to go back a few years, and just to something that does not exist in our modern society anymore, do you know what a glory hole is?

Person B: Ja? I’ve heard about it (Laugh)

Person D: Ok, Day-time sex, across the road from the campus where I studies was a shopping centre, and in that shopping centre was a glory hole. Now I spent more time in lunch time and during times between classes doing shopping at the pick and pay and glory hole, I didn’t do anything else. And to me there’s nothing more exciting than having sex in public toilets during the day.

Person A: So who were on the other side of these glory holes?

Person D: Whoever had a hole to put something in, ja.

Person A: That’s what I wanted to hear.

Laughter

Person B: That to me is a bit scary, I wouldn’t…

Person D: No, it’s exciting. You don’t know what you’re getting…

Person B: Exactly! You don’t know what you get, Take-aways here I come.

Person A: How well do you protect yourself when it’s day-time sex, because as you’ve said…

Person D: Well obviously it’s a glory hole so there’s not much that you can do kind of anally, through it.

Person B: Well it isn’t necessarily depending on anal, if you have a sore in your mouth or something and that guy cums in your mouth you are still possibly at risk.

Person D: I always carried my stuff with me, so you kind of do.

Person B: But you can’t say both of you are one hundred percent safe.

Person D: I always keep condoms with me, there’s condoms at my place, there’s condoms at my work…

Laughter

Person C: I used to hang out at the glory hole scenes, Ja.

Person A: Ok, now that we know more about day-time sex, can we just get one story from both of you, are there interesting sex stories you’ve had during the day?

Person D: I can give you one, it was also at a bar with a public toilet,

Person B: You are one kinky bastard!

Person D: Public toilets are the best places! I went to a shopping centre and there wasn’t a glory hole, obviously, but there are openings between cubicles and he was on his knees sticking things through and a security guard walks in and I don’t know why the security guard poked his head in, and he knocked on the doors and hauled everybody out here, I managed to run away, they still chased after me down the road, it still haunts me to this day. I never went back to that shopping centre…

Person C: I wouldn’t either.

Person B: and the adrenaline?

Person D: Ooh the adrenaline was awesome, I think that’s what I really like.

Person B: Well my story is actually not that interesting, but one of my fantasies always has been to have public sex, whether during the day or night, doesn’t matter but public sex is like a big turn on for me. And this one guy, one day he said…

Person D: Not your boyfriend?

Person B: No, I was single. I don’t do the cheating thing. And this one day this guy came and said to me, conversation started, alcohol started flowing, and weed started coming out…

Person D: Chemsex?

Person B: No, weed sex is a different story, that’s for another day, and we went around the alley and I told him that one of my fantasies is public sex and in this alley he just dropped his pants and said well let’s get carried on. And I said well I’m not protected, I don’t have anything with me, so he took out his packet of condoms, one thing led to another and…

Person D: In the day, in an alley?

Person B: In the late afternoon, yes, say around half-past fourish.

Person D: That’s trashy.

Person B: It’s still a fantasy of mine, that wasn’t public sex, that was just a public place.

Person A: Would you have still done it if let’s say, you didn’t have protection and he didn’t also?

Person B: At that time the heat was so pumping, so hot that I don’t think I would have stopped, no.

Person A: I think that’s one of the things that we need to look deeper into, just the fact that because sometimes it’s really that hot and you really can’t stop, and what do you suggest people do in such a situation, should they try or by all means stop?

Person C: I think for me it’s always been a stop thing, you know? It’s just like, nuh-uh, no way.

Person B: For me too, especially since I know my HIV status, and recently I’ve tested again and thank God I’m still negative, but

Person D: Funnily enough it’s the only time you want to be negative, the only time.

Person B: But I think… what was the question again?

Person A: What advice would you give to people that want to stop?

Person B: Well the quickest way to find protection, if they really are that desperate.

Person D: The quickest way would either be a chemist or a pick and pay, everybody sells.

Person B: Most public toilets nowadays have the government issued condoms, so it’s not that difficult to get hold of.

Person D: And I really think sorry, I was joking about the negative thing, but I really think that’s one time in your life that you have to be negative and you’ve got to know, because if you don’t…

Person B: But also some guys come to you and the heat is so on that they would say anything just to get in your pants even if they are positive they would say they’re negative just to have that fun quickly, and that is also what scares me a little bit, so…

Person A: But there are still some guys that come to you during the day and are like, well I’m on PREP, I don’t need protection, would you do this?

Person C: I still wouldn’t.

Person B: I still wouldn’t either because even though prep is a precaution method, there’s still stuff that can go wrong.

Person D: No I agree. I fully agree, it would be a negative.

Laughter

Person A: Thank you so much for coming, we’ll carry on this conversation another time.

Hear it for yourself here: https://youtu.be/ijtVKMue1JI

I hope you enjoyed that little musical break. Now, getting straight back into it here on The Steam Room, I’m proud and excited to welcome a representative from Gay and Lesbian Network, an expert in the field of man-on-man sex, and of course day-time sex, who is here to talk to us about the psychological side of things. What does hooking up in this way mean for your mental and emotional health?

Ethan: Gaysa Radio, where you are family, I’m chatting to Anthony Walthouzen from the Gay and Lesbian Network and today we are talking about day-time sex and day-time hook-ups. So what do you think makes day-time hook-ups so attractive for some men?

Anthony: Well I think it’s freely available to individual persons that want to engage in sex in a public space, so that might be attractive for some people, to engage in sort of anonymous sex with somebody that they don’t know.

Ethan: It might be like the whole risk, the whole taboo of doing this thing in public during the day?

Anthony: Ja, ja, you must also be conscious of those types of acts as well because of safety, first of all, and if one goes to go and have this type of sexual act then they need to also protect themselves and take condoms and lubricants with them so that they are actually protected and do not get STI’s as well as HIV and AIDS.

Ethan: Ja one thing that seems to be a common theme with people who do day-time hook-ups is that they might already have a partner and hooking up during the day-time is a way to have sex without their partner knowing because they are out and about, so what advice do you have for these men who are having day-time sex without their partners knowledge or consent for some reason?

Anthony: Well I think they need to try as much as possible to be as faithful as possible and be with the partner that they’ve actually got to know and supposed to love, and if they do engage in these acts then they should make sure they are protecting themselves because if their partner’s really unfaithful and does not do that, the other person is doing, then they are at risk of getting infected with HIV, with STI’s. There’s gonna be those sort of throwbacks coming to that person to, how did he get something like HIV AIDS or an STI, so there can be a lot of animosity between those two types of persons. So it’s important that one does make sure that they protect themselves when they engage in sort of risky behaviour.

Ethan: So these men who are busy hooking up in the daytime, how would they know that the person that they are hooking up with is safe, or what are some red flags to look out for when meeting guys during the day in public?

Anthony: Well I think the safest one is to meet in a public space first of all, get to know the person, probably over a cup of coffee, and to try and get to know the person beforehand as much as possible and ensure that this will happen safely and you’re in a space to not be taken advantage of, to see after that and then go and thereafter go into a space where they are able to engage in sexual acts or whatever they want to do, so they must just be very conscious of safety and make sure that they actually have a plan B, if they can actually get out of a situation where their safety is at risk.

Ethan: Thank you so much for that, that was Anthony Waldhousen talking about day-time hook0ups. GaySA Radio, where you are family.

Get some great advice about day-time hook-ups from Anthony Waldhousen here on The Steam Room: https://youtu.be/CxdBa4RrvA4

Sometimes we all need a bit of help because life is a tricky thing. Sometimes it can hand you an issue to deal with even if you have been very careful, or can throw you into situations where a helping hand might be all you need to get back on track. So where do you go for help? Well here in South Africa there are a number of organisations that can help out. And instead of telling you about them I thought it best to let the people at each of these organisations tell you about it themselves. So every time we will meet another organisation, today we chat with this interesting organisation:

Ethan: GaySA where you are family and we’re chatting to Anthony Waldhousen, today we’re talking about the Gay and Lesbian Network. So please can you just introduce yourself?

Anthony: Hi, my name is Anthony Waldhousen, I’m the director and founder of the Gay and Lesbian Networked based in Pietermaritzburg .

Ethan: Can you tell us a bit more about GLN and the history as well?

Anthony: The Gay and Lesbian Network was established in 2003 and since then has done pioneering work around supporting and assisting LGBTI youth, and since then it has been established as a professional organisation to date and we’re actually based in Pietermaritzburg but we work throughout Kwazulu-Natal and we’re also part of other organisations and networks in South Africa.

Ethan: So can you tell us a bit about the services that you guys offer?

Anthony: We actually provide four programs, focusing on first of all, is health issues, we do work around HIV AIDS, counselling, testing, we also have a helpline where we also provide social support, counselling, we also do face-to-face counselling for LGBTI people. We also conduct a number of health-related workshops around HIV and AIDS, issues around stigma and health-related issues affecting LGBTI people, then we have what’s called the Create a Neighbourhood Environment program which is primarily focusing on advocacy work, and we work a lot with different stakeholders to assess and create awareness of LGBTI issues, so for example we work with the police, certain departments about services, because what we were experienced in and did research for myself and nationally is that LGBTI people experience signature victimisation when they go to for example, the police or the clinics, so what we do here we assess and run gender and sexuality workshops to create a better understanding around LGBTI issues, so hopefully that’ll change their perceptions and behaviour in the workplace. We do a lot of work around hate-crime, we are part of the hate-crime working group and we take on a number of legal issues around the issue of hate-crime and we work with different stakeholders like care-centres to address the issues of these violent crimes. We also have our outreach program which works in communities where LGBTI type people live in their own communities and we’ll work a lot with emerging LGBTI organisations in and around KZN to help them and develop them and provide capacity. We run a lot of safe-spaces and support groups in those communities as well as we also have a research component that does a number of research and programs which look at legislation around human rights and LGBTI issues.

Ethan: So have you partnered with anybody else to strengthen you guys’ objectives?

Anthony: Ja, that’s one of the key strengths of the organisation, we’ve got networks and partnerships with a number of organisations, with government departments, with the South African police services, Health department and Education, we also work with different stakeholders in education institutions like the University of Pretoria, Kwazulu-Natal, with the different departments. We’ve actually developed a relationship with the psychology department, the school of Law, as well as we work around the school of Theology and Religion. And then we also work closely with traditional healers and traditional leaders because Kwazulu-Natal is primarily, has a large amount of traditional leadership and healers in the province. We also work with a large amount of NGO’s, we’re also part of a consortium at the moment with a project that we’re a part of, another six organisations in Kwazulu-Natal that are focusing on land and housing issues.

Ethan: Under GLN, which innovations have you launched or implemented to further help people?

Anthony: Well I think all our programs are innovative in itself that we actually piggy-back on different organisations, for example like as I mentioned, we work with the school of Theology in Kwazulu-Natal, they help us to access the clergy, for example. We also work with another organisation that is actually a membership base for traditional healers, so we work with them to help us to gain access to traditional healers too so when we actually assess them, so that is ways in which innovation we have in the work we do and part of… we recently changed our strategy so that we can incorporate working in communities where LGBTI people live.  So that’s our innovation, actually working with emerging LGBTIQ based organisations and communities where LGBTI’s live, so that aspect of what we do is trying to further, to expand our reach to the LGBTI people in different parts of KZN.

Ethan: and then, finally if anybody wants to get a hold of you guys, how do they go about doing this?

Anthony: Well they can go onto our website, www.gaylesbian.org.za and they can access us quickly and get contact details there further, or they can contact 033 342 6165 or they can also visit us at our office at 19 Connaught road, Pietermaritzburg.

Ethan: That was Anthony Waldhousen talking to us about the Gay and Lesbian Network, here on GaySA Radio, where you are family.

So there you have it, if you need to contact this organisation just go to their website, which you will find on the gaysaradio.co.za Steam Room page, the link will be there. Remember, there’s always help out there, Google is your friend.

Listen here to find out more about LGN: https://youtu.be/hoqZjELPbyQ

Megan: Hi, good day, it’s Megan-Ann Carreira here

Claudette: and of course Claudette -Lee cooper

Person A: And what does Megan-Ann Carreira do?

Megan: During the day-time I am an attorney, I have my own firm and at night…

Claudette: Enough from you.

Laughter

Person A: At night you’re what?

Megan: Nothing that I wish to discuss on air.

Claudette: Gosh, rather not. Well, I’m a fashion designer and I also have my own company, and at night I’m at home looking after my family of course, I’m a family person. I don’t have a second job like Megan at night…

Megan: Times are tough.

Laughter

Person A: Ok, and I know what brings us here today is the Mr and Ms Pretoria Pride Pageant, if you could please tell us a little bit about that and the history behind it.

Megan:  Well we’ve been hosting it now and arranging it for the past three years, this is the third year that we are doing the competition, where we are arranging it, getting the contestants, getting the venue, working out who needs to do what on that day, getting the judges and so forth. So ja, we’re busy planning this event that will take place on the 2nd of September this year.

Person A: Cool, and where is it, how much is it to get in? All the basic details that we need to know?

Claudette: Well as Megan just said, it’s on the 2nd of September this year and we are hosting it once again at the Rockwood Theatre in Parkview mall in Pretoria East, we also hosted there last year but this year we’re going to the larger venue, and so we are very excited and nervous about that. And so tickets will be available from next week, we will put a link onto Facebook, Instagram where you can click on the link to new tickets, and you can buy your tickets there for R100 for normal and R200 for VIP, VIP does include a pre-drink and some snacks, and front row seats of course, and a little bit of private time with Megan after-hours, I just heard…

Megan: That will still be discussed.

Laughter

Person A: And because I heard you mention something about Facebook, what are the details? Where can they reach you on Facebook?

Claudette: They can go to the Facebook page, Mr and Ms Pretoria Pride, and they can also go to my Facebook page, Claudette-Lee Cooper, or Megan’s that’s Megan Carreira, all the info is on there and also on the Pretoria Pride page. Everything is linked together so they can get all the info there.

Person A: So now for some of the serious stuff, what is the objective behind this event, what are you trying to achieve by having a Mr and Ms Pretoria Pride Pageant?

Megan: I think the main objective of this pageant is to get representatives and ambassadors from the gay community to present us, not only in the gay community but in life; it’s to create a platform for the contestants and the winners to create something and to better themselves or use it to their advantage and create charities or do something with it. So that is the main objective of this.

Person A: So basically it goes beyond just being a pretty face and a hot core body?

Claudette: Yes, yes. We just want to show everybody out there that we’re just not proud on pride day, we are proud every day, and that’s why we need representatives that can go out there and show people we are part of the community, not just the gay community, the whole community. Part of life, part of everything out there and they can stand for something and be proud, and show the people that we are all equal, all the same, we’re just living life. And then use this as a platform to do good, we just need more good in life these days, there’s so many bad things going on that we need good. I know we can’t change the world but every little bit helps, you understand? So we need these ambassadors, these representatives, to use this as a platform and go out there and make a change. And some of them just need a little bit of confidence, these pageants give confidence, so many winners came back to us, and just contestants, afterwards come up to us and say you know what, this gave me confidence. Now I can do this because it’s actually possible if I can do this, I can do that, and ja, I hope that, in a smaller view of this and a smaller circle it is, you make so many friends, if you’re a contestant in the pageant you make so many friends because you’re part of a small family that grows and grows and grows every year, so ja, that’s, there’s so much that we can actually go into but the main thing is just to get representatives and ambassadors out of this.

Person A: And then, if people want to experience this they must buy tickets and come see.

Megan: Exactly, that’s actually a very strong point I want to go into because to support things like this, from the gay community, the straight community, whatever; is…

Claudette: Vital.

Megan: Ja, we need support for things like this to have it go on and make sure there’s another event next year, because if this fails this year there’s not event next year. And what’s a hundred bucks? I know it’s two tequilas or a cocktail, but it’s a Sunday night, so you can’t have cocktails, rather coma spend that money, we’re not just going to be a pageant, it’s gonna be entertainment, it’s gonna be a huge show, so come support it and let’s make this a huge thing that we can all be proud of, because it’s all part of pride, and to show that we are proud, we’re doing this as a build-up to Pride.

Person A: Absolutely, and because Pride is a time of inclusivity and being gay means we need to be inclusive, when it comes to ethnicity, how diverse would you say Mr and Ms Pretoria Pride is?

Claudette: Well it’s open to everybody!

Person A: For all the information and contact details, how can people reach you?

Megan: They can contact us on either Claudette-Lee Cooper on Facebook, or Megan Carreira. They can also send us an email, our email address is mrandmsptapride@gmail.com or the Facebook page

Claudette: Mr and Ms Pretoria Pride Facebook page has got all the details on.

Megan: Yes, it’s got all the details so they’re more than welcome to give us a message on there, we’ll get back to them, give them the details, if they have questions we’ll answer, if they want an entry form we’ll send it, just give us a shout.

Person A: Some really really exciting stuff.

Megan: Ja and this whole pageant, like I said, we have a nice meet-and-greet after with all the contestants and then there’s a weekend away, where we have some team-building, and then we build up with a lot of rehearsals to the finale so we can host an amazing show, so it’s not just a normal pageant, it’s a show as well and we have artists performing, things like that. So that’s why I want people to really, really just buy their tickets, come and have fun…

Person A: Well thank you so much.

If you would like to participate in any of the events please let us know at info@gaysaradio.co.za , otherwise you’re more than welcome to just come through and join the fun. See you there!

Get all the juicy details for Mr and Ms Pretoria Pride by listening to The Steam Room: https://youtu.be/xTm-0qhsUZY

Thank you for joining us on The Steam Room, brought to you by GaySA Radio, where you are family: https://youtu.be/dIkB38G1tKc